Forgiveness is the letting go of the thought that the past should have been different. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself…
-Aba Gayle – USA, mother of a murdered daughter…

The Walk

In the TV-program The Walk of December 3 meets Hella van der Wijst Aba Gayle. I saw Aba for the first time in October at a meeting of the Inside-Outside Foundation. People who correspond with people on death row, like myself.

Illusion of separateness

As I look at her again, I realize that forgiveness touches the basis of our existence. Forgiveness brings us home in our heart after a long, long journey. The ego starts to dissolve and there seems nothing left to hold on. Nothing left to separate yourself or to feel that you are exceptional in any way.. You fall through all the layers of your self-created reality which has separated you from your True Nature: the comprehensive Source we are and that we call God or Love or Energy.
The confusion that we are separate individuals start slowly to disappear after you have applied the Power of Forgiveness. Not because you feel you MUST forgive; as long as we want something, forgiveness will not be sincere.
No, the power of True Forgiveness bubbles up from a deep soul desire. From the willingness to embrace life in all her fullness, to let be ‘All That Is’ the good as well the so called bad. It is the story of the prodigal son who finds his way back home after a long, long time.
When I look back at my own life, I went through this process years ago. I became aware of it when I suddenly and spontaneously wrote an ode to my parents in my book; ‘Mastery beyond death’, in which I fully embraced the past without even wanting it to be different than it was…


… The last line in this tribute is for my dear parents. Although the relationship with them has been anything but easy, I have freed myself from my past. Gratefully I look back at my life. It was a life full of trials, which I have transformed with supernatural aid into opportunities and pure joy. There is no reproach left, there is only an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude.
Gratitude, dear father and mother, that you gave me this opportunity, this life. Gratitude that you were willing to receive me with love and did everything within your power that was possible in those days and in those circumstances, to bring me up and to embrace me. No doubt you loved me. And I can now honestly and sincerely say: you were the perfect parents I needed, to achieve true inner freedom and inner peace…
– From: ‘Mastery beyond Death’


Forgiveness you cannot make happen: forgiveness occurs when the mind or the ego begins to lose its power over you and your True Nature starts to UNfold itself increasingly. You become what you basically always were: a being of pure light. Light knows no separation. The core of the murderer is the same light as I am.

That does not mean that in this earthly dimension the consequences of our actions can be avoided. Although I find the death penalty inhumane, cruel and barbaric, it is logical that every action has a consequence in this life and that we have to take responsibility for our actions. That applies for me, that applies for everyone.
I, myself, no longer feel the need to punish others. I am not God, just ‘I AM’. For God does not punish, the latter is simply what we do ourselves!


When I forgive the murderer of my daughter I free him and I take the burden on my own shoulders. Moreover this feels like betrayal to my daughter, said Ron Lock, parent of a murdered daughter against Aba Gayle.

Until we can forgive we live in a self-created hell, the hell of separation. We experience ourselves as separate individuals and create a situation in which we feel that we are better than the other by taking an object or a situation that we can hate and fight, to sustain our ego; our idea of separation.
– That’s quite a clinical explanation, but in my opinion not far from the truth.

The death of the ego

Aba makes no effort to convince Ron that he should forgive. She knows better than anyone that this will not work. Forgiveness means that we have to release our feeling of being unique. It’s this feeling of uniqueness and superiority that we fight to maintain at all costs, otherwise we feel that we fall apart and there seems nothing left. And that is the Truth: eventually we will be nothing, but our True Selves. In short, forgiveness is the gift we give to ourselves when the apple is ripe to fall off the tree. It’s the end of hell. Fear transforms into unconditional love. It is Heaven on Earth. It is total Liberation …


… We are creating the inner cave, to welcome the birth of the unconditional love within ourselves: the divine child, the son of the Father / Mother. The spark of spirit, we have forgotten such a long time is, awakening. The Kingdom of God, no longer outside us, comes to life.
– Out of my book ‘Original’.

Om Shanti,