‘When there is one Muslim in heaven, I ask God to send me to hell …’
Paradise
He is from Iraqi’s Kurdistan. ‘I am ashamed of being a Muslim. Honestly! I was born in paradise. We sold our freedom to the Arabs and we get violence in place. To be far away from the Arab violence, I finally had to leave paradise. Unfortunately, they do not have enough on their own continent. Now they come in large numbers to the west and change Europe into a Muslim state. That is your own fault. It is high time to look at yourself honestly and sincerely.’
Civilization
‘As a teacher I tried to educate those people a certain civilization. That they had to bring up children with love and not with weapons in their hands. That they had to curb their sexual drive. It has nothing to do with the Koran but with culture to have 12 children or more. Instead of putting one or two children into the world so they can pay their own upbringing, they saddle up Europe with this. You accept that because you feel sorry for them. Pity comes from a sense of superiority and has nothing to do with love, on the contrary.’
‘Who usually spoil the atmosphere here in Moria? Precisely, the Arabs. They disrupt the food line, they steal and they fight. They sell their stolen goods openly in the camp. The police close their eyes…’
Slaves
‘We refugees come from a situation of violence. We get a roof over our heads; we get foot, clothes and even 90 Euro per month. Although the situation is everything except perfect, we should be grateful that we have arrived safely in Europe. What do they do? They are complaining and never have enough! When they get more money so they can rent their own room, they still come back to the camp to receive the free things. As a result, there is not enough food, water and clothing for others. Your volunteers come here to support us, but you are not our slaves. It is not right to let yourself use that way…’
Vulnerable
It is not a stupid boy sitting opposite of me, on the contrary. I feel his vulnerability and his frustration. He left his country, his paradise. Housing, hospital, university, everything was free and paid for from the oil yields. True paradise, where we Westerners can only dream about. Kurds have been oppressed for centuries. They were never recognized as a nation. We even have the guts to send them back to a homeland they do not have. America and a number of Arab countries are using them to fight ‘the enemy’. The Kurds hoped for recognition, unfortunately…
Listen
I listen with an open heart. Although I do not approve everyone’s behavior, I love everyone. Even if we Westerners has co-created this situation, it is not necessary to fulfill all wishes of refugees indiscriminately, from an innate sense of guilt. In that way we not only lose our Self, we maintain the circle of violence and degenerate ourselves into slaves.
Although over ninety percent of humanity behaves in an exemplary way, the media focus on sensation and emotions. Anyway, it are those few rotten apples who demand attention and spoil the atmosphere. When we do not wake up, these rotten apples will affect the entire basket.
Love
Love is the answer. Love is crystal-clear and bloody honest. I embrace you. I respect you and I expect you to respect my achievements and me. I expect you have an eye for my suffering, as I have an eye for yours. Some Syrians demand for a home, schooling etc. for their huge amount of children. As if they are entitled to it…
Melting pot
My heart is still open and free of fear. The world is a melting pot. We have to change our mind-set. It is beyond words to give up our democracy for newcomers. Our integration courses should shift their focus to equal rights, norms and values, which everyone should respect in our acquired democracy. More or less this is happening in Sweden by integrated newcomers.
Confrontation
That same morning I had a heavy confrontation with a Greek. ‘The biggest disaster that has chased us for centuries is that we live on the outskirts of Turkey. Muslims are not people. They send the refugees into the sea and they do not care or they drown, yes or no. Those same Muslims attack our freedom from within. Before you know it, not only this island Lesvos is taken over, but all of Europe. ‘Yes’ he says passionately, ‘you do not believe me, but that is the truth…’
Respect
Deep in my heart, I know that there is a core of truth in it. In my opinion, it is not so black or white. Even though we close all boundaries, we build up high walls, and we close our eyes, we cannot turn the tide. We can only wake up. When we stop treating those people as victims, we not only give them back their dignity, we can also call on their common sense. It is not the intention that only we have to hand in and make room. It is not more than normal that our guests respect us. They may be grateful they can live here in peace and have shelter, however simple that may be for the time being…
Separation
Everywhere on earth, matter has become our new God. Religion is misused to bring about separation. If necessary, we beat each other with the Koran or the Bible to prove that we have the truth. In the name of Allah or God we kill each other, literally or figuratively. Although Muslims are currently more openly in the spotlight, you come across radicalism within all religions.
The water in the well is the same everywhere. There is only one God. Love is her name. There is only one humanity…
There will come a time that we can leave religion behind us. The moment we embrace both light and dark within ourselves, no longer we have to project it outside of us. We understand that there is no difference between you and me. We transcend duality and become universal. We do not belong anywhere and yet we are part of everything.
Love is not putting your head in the sand. Love is fair and openly taking in our own place. This gives room fully to embrace that other person, who is nothing else as a part of our inner Self…
Note
Although for many of us difficult to understand, essentially there is not such a thing as victims and perpetrators. Everything is part of the divine plan. Its purpose is nothing more and nothing less than to let every soul unfold itself at the fullest.
We are born naked and slowly but surely, we dress ourselves with the veils of oblivion. We start to create our own beliefs systems, related to our culture and religion. One morning we wake up and start to realize that everything we have ever assumed for truth is nothing more and nothing less than an illusion.
Your carefully build-up self-image collapses. You feel abandoned from God and everything. You end up in a depression, your relationship breaks down or you get sick. You can do two things. You continue your life as you have lived it so far and you let yourself be treated. Alternatively, you start to realize that your depression is a gateway to a higher goal: a first step towards spiritual awakening, what only can be achieved through an inner war.
The situation in the world attests to chaos, resistance to everything that is common and open violence. It is a perfect reflection of our inner universe.
We always want something different from that what is. We want peace on earth, we want to be happy and a life without pain, while deep inside we know that this is impossible.
We are used to ad ourselves to systems that provide us with a sense of security. Whether those systems are culture, education, religion, new age or politics does not make any difference. We live in the spirit of the herd and this fits us well until the moment we wake up. The bomb bursts, hell breaks loose and we start to rebel.
We are not going to argue about enlightenment. Nothing can be said about that. After all, when you are enlightened, there is only void…
The process of awakening is a gradual process. A process of true warfare. From now on we experience war no longer in the outside world, but inside ourselves. Believe me, the outside war is just a weak reflection of the war inside. There is only one enemy we have to fight, and that is our ego. The ego is an enemy that cannot be combated with outer weapons, through denial or under the guise of love. This enemy asks for a fair look inside. Slowly but surely, you will see that everything you project on the outside world as good or bad comes from your own inner world, in short it is war…
Yasmin I am longing for a world of peace for all humans
Sorry guys, we need to understand that this world of opposites has been given to us as a divine gift. How for god sake we can learn the difference between good and evil, as we cannot experience this by ourselves? To transcend the world of duality we must first descend fully into our inner world to open all hidden treasures to find ultimately the harmony between light and dark. At that moment, everything is as it is. No longer will we make distinction. We do not feel the need to be anywhere else. We have transcended duality and came home. No longer, we feel the need to fight evil in the outside world and we want everybody to have his or her own initiation path. In short, an inner war is the only, very lonely, way to find our inner true.
We start to drop all belief systems that give us the appearance of security. We drop all images of a heaven or a life in the afterlife. We start to realize that nothing can be achieved. All we have is this moment…
Love has little to do with wanting to be sweet. Love is clear and chaotic. Love, unconditional Love, makes everything painfully visible we do not want to feel or experience.
Freedom is an inner state of being. The way inside is the only way. You will feel lonely. All escape routes are closing. I could tell you that the reward is big, but you will only know this afterwards. In short, it is jumping from the high diving board without life jacket and without any security. Jumping with closed eyes, in full surrender…
Love does not close her eyes for this earthly reality, even if we know that all of this is no more and no less than an illusion: the violence, the wars, Mr. Trump of Geert Wilders. Love is knowing that everything and everyone has a function to become a true Human Being. To say it clearly: happiness cannot be found in the material world. Although there is nothing wrong with enjoying the good things in life. This becomes a delightful activity if we desire nothing because we are no longer attached to anything.
Manifestation
We can use the law of manifestation as a way to fill our inner emptiness. You can crave for material luxury, a bigger house, a bigger car and even a more luxurious holiday in the hope you will be more happy. You can meditate and affirm until you weigh an ounce. The moment you discover you are perfectly imperfect, you discover that your essence is emptiness and that you do not have to fill that emptiness with surrogate. That emptiness is filling itself if you do not interfere. You get more clear in what you essentially are: I am who I AM – either emptiness. You embrace all what manifests knowingly that this is what you need. Even if you do not understand it that moment and it is not your desire, on the contrary.
When I took the assignment to write a book about the refugee, I did not realize that I would end up literally in a warfare against the refugee. It was in all respects an inhuman half year and that is physically visible and tangible. However, under the outer sufferings there was an inner knowing that I could not do anything else as I did. The first edition of the book has seen the light and even there is still headwind, I start to feel what the process has done to me. Even more ballast has disappeared. There is nothing left what stands between God and me.
I am not for or against refugees. I do not try to help them, to save them or to solve their problems. I am part of them, as I am part of everything and everyone.
‘Yasmin, this book is a top-notch’. Although the true seeker has loved my books always, my inner world is even deeper polished and no longer I put statements about things I do not have experienced myself.
Maybe the word God will annoy you, but the biggest problem we experience and where all problems arise from is that we have banished God from our lives. For all clarity, God for me is not a man in the clouds, but a boundless consciousness. We think in our separation that we can create everything ourselves. In my opinion, everything is predetermined. Perhaps you think you have a finger in the pie. However, as the process of awakening progresses, you begin to realize that you do not want to interfere. You embrace all that is without judgment and start to clear everything that is between you and the truth. Your experiences will be different. Better to say, your perception becomes different. You begin to see divine perfection behind every manifestation. In that sense, we absolutely create our own reality.
My world probably looks different from yours. I accept life in all her abundancy and her misery. I do not fight but I embrace. ‘Yasmin, why do you think people are treating you like that? It is easy to preach. To walk your talk is something different. I do not know anybody who bring that into practice like you do it…’
‘Do you really think Yasmin that you would attract crowds of people? Come on, sweetheart. You send people home with even more questions. You challenge people to find their answers themselves. In my opinion, the only right way. Unfortunately, people want a ready-made concept, a highway for enlightenment…’
Of course, that is right. We are raised like that. We go to the doctor and say: ‘Doctor here is my body, make it better.’ Our welfare state has also a huge patronized side. It has made us unimaginably dependent and killed much of our creativity. Slowly but surely, we live in a police state where everything is controlled. Where everything already is divided and decided. We live only one part of our being. Our rational male side. We suppress our feminine and receptive side with man and power. We fight all forms of natural healing. We ban natural seeds. Shelves in supermarkets and bookstores have been bought on forehand. In short, our freedom has a price tag.
Inner freedom
The first step toward inner freedom is to admit that we have created all this out of greed. We are fooling ourselves on the economic situation. We prefer to believe in economics. Years ago when the prices of houses explode, we did not have the courage to let the housing market collapse. We have created a huge problem. That time the pain would have been fierce, but reconstruction was possible. Now we have created a disastrous situation and no longer we know how to fill the gaps.
Perfectly imperfect
Half measures are never a solution. Now we have to cut down, we discover that healthcare can be a lot cheaper. We are forced to think for ourselves and to take responsibility for our own lives…
The current situation forces us to wake up. It forces us not to play the game of the mass but to ask ourselves what we want. The false shine of certainty works stagnating and is fatal for the soul. Life is movement and constant change. As long as we live in fear, objective action becomes impossible. I do not like to discourage you, but any change, any new form, is eventually doomed to disappear. In this respect, we are like nature.
The oak tree does not hold her acorns, because she is afraid that next year she will not wear new ones. She surrenders herself to the rhythm of nature.
Our ego opposes with man and power the process of surrender: Not my will but yours. It is the process of dying and being born again. There is a moment when life takes over. You lose your job, you get a burnout, your partner or your child dies. Literally, you end up in a war. As a true westerner, you probably do not give yourself the time to feel and embrace your process. You immediately begin to fight that war with ready-made solutions, such as pills or other forms of oblivion. All we fight is growing. The more we fight and try to deny the flow of refugees in all kinds of bizarre ways, the more the flow will grow. If you have left the herd behind you, you will descend into hell and experience pain and suffering. This time you do not look for half solutions. However, there is nothing wrong with supporting the process without suppressing it.
Neverland
You emerge reborn from the battle. Do not think you are anywhere. That is an illusion. You are on the way and the road never stops. If you have mastered this universe, you go to another universe. You will receive other assignments. Increasingly difficult, but you have more luggage. Slowly but surely, you end up in Neverland. The battle goes on, but no longer are you part of the battle. You do not judge but embrace all that is. You stand like a rock in the surf in the midst of the noise. You do not understand the world anymore, but you do not condemn her either. You see clearly that the need to help or protect people is arrogant. Your ego grows enormously, but you do not serve the victims by keeping them away from their own unique path to inner freedom.
You need less and less because you are fulfilled within. You eat or you do not eat. It does not matter. You sleep or you do not sleep. It does not matter. You do not need the approval of others anymore…
You do not live in the past. No longer will you blame your parents for anything what happened. You know you needed all of this to get where you are. You no longer support the public opinion. You do not find pleasure in condemning and crucifying others, including priests, nuns, homosexuals, lesbians, Muslims and Christians. Definitely, you are not going to pollute the social media with your stuff. Let alone that you are going to wage war with the one who pinched you in your ass thirty years ago. You know that there is something like action and reaction. However, you do not judge those who do so. You look at the perfection in nature with wonder and realize that there is only one imperfect aspect. That is man, or the ego, who constantly tries to control everything and justify itself.
I do not know
We do not dare to say: ‘I do not know.’ This could be the beginning of a huge revolution. ‘Yasmin, how would you solve the refugee problem?’ ‘Sorry guys, I do not know’. In my opinion, nobody knows. The first step might be to express this loudly: ‘I do not know’. Funny enough, I suspect that all problems resolve by itself the moment we stop interfering…’
‘Yasmin may I be honest. You were chaotic.’ I am grinning. I am no longer afraid of chaos. After all, out of chaos a new order is born. We try to control everything, but the chaos is growing. Anyway, I was who I was. At the end of the presentation, I got a standing ovation. ‘Yasmin, I have never met anyone who is so bright, so sincere and so authentic.’
What I know is that I need to clear up within everything that stands between the refuge and me. It is a hell of a job, but definitely worth it. I did quite a bit of work before, so it was not too bad. My heart is open, my borders are disappeared. I respect myself, so I respect the refugee, the beggar, the queen, in short I respect -almost- everyone. However, I do not wish to waste my time discussing whether or not we keep the tradition of Santa Claus and the black Pete. Let alone whether Islamic teachers should shake hands with their female colleagues yes or no. There are a few rules and arrangements we made with each other. Anyone who wants to participate in our society will have to respect that. I also do that. I do not build churches elsewhere and I cover my head in the mosque, to name just a few things. Is a matter of respect.
Compassion is not love. Respect yourself and be clear what is important for you. Then you lovingly can respect and embrace others and you will appreciate the differences in cultures, which make life so colorful…
My being is boundless. Men and women are not equal but equivalent. Blood killings do not fit into our culture, and burka’s are even not allowed in Mecca. If we do not dare to be honest, we get stuck in misunderstanding and blame. For clarity, understanding is something that must come from both sides. The moment we no longer want to fight, we do not have to combat anything anymore. Our life takes its natural course. No longer have we to convince others. All therapists and coaches are suddenly unemployed. All NGO’s are dismantled. All churches are closing. In short, life gets boring!
However, inside of us there is an overwhelming richness. Through wind and weather, through war and peace, it will bring you deeper and deeper into your sacred space, your inner silence…
Om Shanti – Let us be in peace…
Yasmin
• We are on the road again to Sicilië – Greece and Lesvos ♥
Every person is looking for Love. The moment you have found that source of love inside yourself, no longer will you search for it in the outside world and your energy will flow abundantly…
Babies who do not get love stay behind in their growth. A person dies if he does not get love. Maybe his body does not die, but certainly his spirit. At best, he becomes someone who survives, in the worst case he becomes a criminal and will kill without emotion as he has been killed.
Funny that we pay so much attention to fight evil, to acquire knowledge and outside matter while all we need to bring up a healthy and self-evident child is love. That last one seems to be a forbidden fruit…
Do you experience that everything you give attention grows?
The world is a reflection of your thoughts and beliefs. Until we take full responsibility for our own lives, we will continue to shop in the outside world, we will fill our emptiness with surrogate and we will continue to project our misery on others.
When all the shortages was filled in me, I discovered that I no longer had to do anything. I only had to be what every human being is in essence: an eternal source of love. Being love is another thing than covering everything under the guise of love and the shine of holiness! Love exposes everything that has been hidden carefully. Love begins by recognizing and embracing yourself fully.
No longer I feel the urge to bring all the misery of the world into my house by social media. I cannot change that. Every change is taking place within myself.
We cannot change the world. You can only change our view of the world
Meantime I can say that I embrace myself with my perfect- and less perfect sides. In this material manifestation, I cannot only be light. Embracing both poles means harmony and wholeness. The heart is the engine. Life is full and fulfilling without filling in anything.I am very sensitive and everything I experience is going through my body. Unlike in the past, it will no longer stick on it. I am more a observer, an open channel. How arrogant to think that I had to bear the suffering of the world. It may be there. This also belongs to perfection. I can only be present, grateful in any moment.
Surrender
I cannot change the flow of life. I can fight or let myself float on the stream. The moment I was tired of fighting, I surrendered: I let go – I let God. No longer I was a willing sheep. I got rid of the herd that makes evolution impossible and went my own way. It was painful and not always they loved me. No longer this is important. It is not about what others think of us, it is all about daring to live our own truth.
I take responsibility for my own actions. I cannot blame anyone and certainly, I cannot use God to justify my actions. If you do, I will not stop you. I will respect your way and not debate with you, what is another form of war.
Since I no longer want to hold on, not a partner, children, friends, and certainly no material possessions, love flows effortlessly inside and outside me. Fear is disappearing like snow for the sun and I feel free as an eagle in his flight.
After a half year with refugees in Greece, I experience a same openness here. People come to my house and feel charged. It is not my intention to make them depend on me or to hold anyone. To transform you have to experience the depth of hell and the height of heaven. Why should I stop someone from this process while I know this is the only way to wake up?
The moment you look people straight in their eyes, you will meet their true Being. Strangers no longer exist.
Syrians, Afghans, Kurds, Iraqis, Iranians, Cashmere, Tunisians. We meet them all at the port of Pireaus where they are stranded five months ago after the borders closed and which port is now in Chinese hands…
Although there is a difference in status, their stories are almost identical. Many have fled the war and lost relatives, others came because they wanted to build a better life in the ‘promised land’ of their imagination. They were imprisoned in Turkey, crossed the border in the night and were terrified to be arrested or to drown with the boat. Some left entire families behind, others have a family member somewhere in Europe.
Signposts
The army and the church take care for food. There are tents and blankets provided by the UN. There is a Red Cross post, free transportation and loads of young people coming by organizations to assist with food and clothing distribution, to teach English or to play with the children. Some people are totslly apathetic, others like Fatia, her sister and their families have created a home where everybody, refugees as well as volunteers can recharge. You get offered something everywhere: tea, coffee, fruit juice or fruit. People are starting to know us, kids shine as they see us. Literally I put my arms around them, large or small. Sometimes we are a signpost for new volunteers…
Safely
We do nothing – and because of that the energy called Love flows naturally. The moment you embrase people, all judgments will disappear. No, the Syrians are not poor, but they lost their homes and family members in the war, left everything behind and paid huge sums to escape to a safe place. And we would certainly do the same. Whattsapp provides a wunderful connection with friends or relatives elsewhere.
Everyone lives his own blueprint. Situations that seem inhuman in our eyes, undoubtedly lead sooner or later to polish the pathway our soul has chosen for.
Human
I am not here because I want to be good, I am not here because I want to be an angel. I am here because I want to be in all respects a true Human-being. To experience and to be present with an open heart and to put literally my arms around the people, all judgments are fading away and I meet all particles of mySelf. Undoubtedly all of us become richer…
Heart-warming
Jafar from Afghanistan is here because for him there is no future in his country. He is caring for a group of Afghan men and acts together with those guys as brothers and protectors for Fatima and her daughter Modisa. Heart-warming! He does not see another way out then to leave the country illegally. But first he wants to find a safe place for this mother and daughter. We try to help him. There is no way back. In my heart I will travel with him…
‘The Koran is a wonderful guide to walk our pathway,’ Jafar tells me. ‘Unfortunately, there are just a few who live this nowadays…’
My dear Jafar, you are living it. And many people I have met in those days…
Squat
A couple from Wales together with a group of Syrian people are creaking an old hospital. We pay the taxi for father Samir to get there with their furniture and we take the subway with his wife Salwa and their three kids. It is an incredible mess, but they are happy to have a place for now. We help Salwa to clean up the biggest mess. When we come back two days later their room is spotless, though there is still no toilet and electricity. Salwa is cooking for us and hungry or not, we have to eat. We know this habit globally! ‘I love you’, Salwa says as she looks into my eyes. ‘I love you too’, I answer sincerely.
Evacuation
Will it finally happen? The police came around to mention that this camp will be closed on Monday. Many families have already been evacuated elsewhere. There is a special camp for Syrians. Fatia and her family will get a caravan there. There is also a tent camp for Afghans.
But what to do with all the others – that is until now a mystery…
If all sounds are stilled and we have gone to the bottom of our fear, there remains nothing else then to surrender ourselves to the flow of silence. We finally come home to the world we were constantly looking for…
Compassion
I wake up and stretch myself. While chuckling, I feel my heart is opening up. It is not a disaster to be alone. I am not bad company! I embrace myself in compassion and my heart opens up further and further. From the boundless flow of unconditional love my compassion is going to our Refugees. I am thankful that I am not in their shoes! In my imagination I embrace them with an open hearth while offering them a bunch of roses. I feel compassion for a world that feels alienating and split up because we live in the illusion of a separate I…
Quiet
Although different than before, it can be pretty quiet around me now I am pulling back again from the visible world of activity. At the same time there is a huge need for silence inside of me. The moments that I feel uncomfortable, are those moments when I think I finally have to do something! Unfortunately, it is not working like that anymore. Once I let go and return to the boundless space in myself, there is no compulsion, and I am utterly boundless. I know I am doing what I have to do – even though my contribution seems less visible in the outside world. People who are a tad alienated of this society feel at home with me. I accept them the way they are. Eventually I am also not a ‘normal’ tribe-member.
All-one
Regularly I go into nature. There is nothing that distracts me and I immensely enjoy the silence. All difficulties disappear like snow in the sun and I feel truly safe in the arms of the Father/Mother. I become one with nature – my nature. Once you leave the beaten track you come to mystical places. In front of me a deer stands on the path. A buzzard is looking for the right thermals. What a power! How lovingly the couple coots take care of their young. A lapwing cries desperately after losing her nest. A swan with kids is swimming in the river. A lamb calls for its mother. Mother sheep breaks away from the flock and knows unerringly to find her child. A group of geese expels an intruder in their territory. Everything seems to be in bloom and the diversity of greens are a blessing for body and soul. My energy is flowing abundantly and I feel grateful and privileged that I can walk, that I can enjoy…
Experience
I am grateful that I am born in the Netherlands. It is in many respects a great country and in essence we are a hospitable race. We have, in my opinion, one weakness. We like to arrange everything and that deprives people of the possibility to discover the essence of life. Children need to learn the difference between good and evil. They can only learn this by experiencing this by themselves.
Silence
If we allow ourselves to make mistakes, if we dare to be rebellious, if we have the courage to question the established order, especially within ourselves, we eventually learn that we can only be responsible for our own Self. When we playful and curious dare to explore our own lives, when we honestly dare to look in our own mirror, we stop pointing to others. We accept that is what is, without having an opinion or a judgment. We reveal what the Creator intended with his creation. Words lose strength, silence takes its space. We quit to believe that we have to do something. We are what we are: pure Love…
Fear
Embrace your fear and it will disappear like snow in the sun. It does not matter which path we have chosen. It is always the right path! And if you need something from someone else, you just have to ask. It is that simple!
Om Shanti – Let US be in Peace… Yasmin – Ambassador of Love
People who say that there is good without the associated evil or a good government without the associated misrule do not understand the main principles of the universe, nor the nature of creation… One might talk about the existence of heaven without an earth or the negative without the positive, which is obviously impossible. Nevertheless, people talk incessantly about it. Either such people cannot be wise or they keep fooling themselves… – Chuang Tzu –
Unworthy
It was my deepest conviction that I was not okay, so my life was a sequence of misery and unhappiness. I believed I had no right to live. People around me tried to convince me daily of that, and see they were very successful! These recurring affirmations got stuck in my head – eventually that became a conviction that I began to experience as truth: ‘Lord I am not worthy!’ On behold, my unworthiness manifested itself in my body as illness. Slowly but surely I lost my childlike innocence and my self-confidence and I died little by little…
Improving
During this process of decay I got more and more insight into the true meaning of life, so I started to improve myself. Initially I was angry at my parents, educators and churches that they had restricted my divinity. This anger has been the engine of my movement. The moment I stopped to blame them I demanded my birthright back. I did not see myself as sick anymore, but as someone who is constantly improving. The whole process of guilt, inferiority and sickness has taught me that it is no longer necessary to walk the path of decline and to associate myself with illness. Altogether I am healthier than ever and my body is more youthful and more flexible than many years ago!
Deathless
I believed in mortality because they wanted me to believe it. How should they have been able to suppress me and to mitigate my divine spirit if they had told me who I really was? I became immortal at the moment I was allowed to catch a glimpse from the infinite vastness of the universe. From that moment my fear of death disappeared, and I started to transform the whole process. More and more I began to realize and also to experience that I was a divine and immortal being who could not improve herself because I was already perfect in the moment!
Self
No longer I feel the need to blame somebody else for my shortcomings and I take full responsibility for my well-being. I am self sufficient and do not stick to any religion anymore. In short, I do not believe in anything or anyone, only in myself. I see God or Love reflected in nature and in everything and everyone around me. I am open en flexible en willing to examine everything, but I do not take anything for granted, until I have experienced it myself.
Power
I do not need to blame churches or educators. I do not like to see anyone behind bars. Overall, I have manifested all of this by myself, partly because I needed to experience things to learn who I really was! Without this process of apparent contradiction I would never have been able to experience and to enjoy real Life; so viva the Church, viva the government and especially viva my educators. We cherish our image of the outside world as long as we need it. At the moment we wake up they will lose their power over us. I am a divine being – just like you. I hold the same powers than the Master Jesus and many others – just like you. No longer I feel ashamed to stay proudly and grateful into this world. I honor myself in me and in you. Because you are me and I am you.
Engine
God is Love with a capital letter and that Love is the engine of my existence. There is nothing outside of that Love or whatever you like to call it, so it is impossible to include or exclude anything or anybody. We do not fall in love because of appearance, age or gender. We do not like a certain person because the body where we cling a certain age and certain mortality to – as if there would exist something as time! We love each other because of our spirit – which is eternal and immortal. Our divinity will increasingly reflected itself as soon we purify our emotional and spiritual body and fully dare to admit and to embrace ourselves. From the moment I recognized myself and started to love and to embrace myself, I could look everyone in the eyes and say convincingly: ‘I am worthy, but not I alone, you too. And no matter what you ever did or what you might do yet. Now you are worthy and there is no need to improve yourself because you are already perfect!’
Debt
All over the world I see people following the same path. We give our responsibility in the hands of sources outside ourselves. Churches and educators have given us the feeling that we were not good enough; that there exist a God and a devil. As if Gods creation is not Oneness. By believing in good and bad, we create good and evil. We cannot even blame God for that! Also, we cannot expect Him to save us because He has no judgment so he finds it all quite amusing how we get stuck in our ego plays here on earth. To say it frankly, more than this you cannot name it, can you?
Game
As long as we live in this self-created world of uncertainty we try to undermine each other with words or with powers. My tribe is better than your tribe. My God is better than your God. What a joke! Unfortunately for most people, deadly serious and not something to joke about! Anyway, by now I know it all pretty well, the power games and the tricks, so I can understand it too. The smaller we are, the more we like to blown up our ego. And as long as we can impress others we will continue to play our game with gusto. But eventually we out voice only ourselves and once we close our mouth, our self-created reality collapses as a house of cards, and we fall into the abyss of self-pity and sheer misery; at this moment a process worldwide is happening and what some of us will call hell!
Improve
I believe that I am improving myself every day; that every day is worthy to live and to experience at the fullest. My body constantly renews and rejuvenates itself. Bumps in my life are only there to make me more aware of my Self. I may take those bumps without nagging. And when I am occasionally nagging, let me be aware that I am nagging! Even that I do not have to change. That is just what it is at that particular moment and when I let it be without judgment, it will disappear as fast as the rain showers from this morning.
Wealth
I love myself. Wow, I have created a wonderful life, a gorgeous body. I have created a beautiful environment and what a beautiful people are surrounding me. But even if all off this will disappear, I will stay upright. Because within me is a wealth that is independent of anything and anyone and cannot be expressed in money. It manifests itself as an eternal field of flowers which bloom continuously without ever withers. There is so much to be grateful for. There is only gratitude…
I love myself – and because of that I love you…
Yasmin – Ambassador of Love
‘The moment I fully embrace myself, I embrace the world without exception’.
In this time when the old is doomed to disappear, there is no place for maintaining forced ancient rituals. They often has become hollow and empty and they carry no longer the power of the spirit within. Life itself will be our new initiation. It is intended that each of us will find his own inner temple: the essence of Love what is the true meaning of being human. That means that every attachment what prevents us from being fully human has to die first…
– The Power of Being
Prison
He is a Gypsy, a bit Indonesian and a bit Dutch. He is young and beautiful. He radiates something pure childlike. I am surprised that many of these ‘petty criminals’ are such a beautiful and unspoiled souls. I saw you come in, he says, you hit me right in the hearth. You have -his hands make a big circle- such a beautiful aura around you. When it is time to go back to his department I spread my arms and give him a hug. Thank you Stanley, it was enriching to meet you. It’s amazing how I feel at home among those guys. They have at least felt hell, do not pretend to be something and expect nothing from me. Overall, I can totally be myself here…
Brave
After prison I drive into town to visit Rick. He is in the final year of his detention, wrote a book, and asked for support. As we walk to the park we have intense talks about Buddhism and ethics. But we can also be quiet together. I know with a deep inner knowing that Rick is going to make it. Return back into this society is almost an impossible task. Do you have served your sentence, for your environment you will keep signed forever. A new start is reserved exclusively for those who literally have gone through the mud and suddenly got awake. That moment you take responsibility for your own actions without having to wallow in guilt. It takes courage to go inward and to turn your back to the old familiar surroundings. To succeed your coming back you have to be a loner – a rebel – who is willing to let go the desire of belonging to someone or to somewhere…
Grateful
I am grateful for all the love and the care I received on my way to healing and mobility. Grateful for all the energy exchances here in my beautiful garden. It is my dream that the flow we started spontaneously may have a sequel. That our doors will stay open for ever and ever to unlock a new world…
Forgiveness is the letting go of the thought that the past should have been different. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself… -Aba Gayle – USA, mother of a murdered daughter…
The Walk
In the TV-program The Walk of December 3 meets Hella van der Wijst Aba Gayle. I saw Aba for the first time in October at a meeting of the Inside-Outside Foundation. People who correspond with people on death row, like myself.
Illusion of separateness
As I look at her again, I realize that forgiveness touches the basis of our existence. Forgiveness brings us home in our heart after a long, long journey. The ego starts to dissolve and there seems nothing left to hold on. Nothing left to separate yourself or to feel that you are exceptional in any way.. You fall through all the layers of your self-created reality which has separated you from your True Nature: the comprehensive Source we are and that we call God or Love or Energy. The confusion that we are separate individuals start slowly to disappear after you have applied the Power of Forgiveness. Not because you feel you MUST forgive; as long as we want something, forgiveness will not be sincere. No, the power of True Forgiveness bubbles up from a deep soul desire. From the willingness to embrace life in all her fullness, to let be ‘All That Is’ the good as well the so called bad. It is the story of the prodigal son who finds his way back home after a long, long time. When I look back at my own life, I went through this process years ago. I became aware of it when I suddenly and spontaneously wrote an ode to my parents in my book; ‘Mastery beyond death’, in which I fully embraced the past without even wanting it to be different than it was…
Grateful
… The last line in this tribute is for my dear parents. Although the relationship with them has been anything but easy, I have freed myself from my past. Gratefully I look back at my life. It was a life full of trials, which I have transformed with supernatural aid into opportunities and pure joy. There is no reproach left, there is only an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude. Gratitude, dear father and mother, that you gave me this opportunity, this life. Gratitude that you were willing to receive me with love and did everything within your power that was possible in those days and in those circumstances, to bring me up and to embrace me. No doubt you loved me. And I can now honestly and sincerely say: you were the perfect parents I needed, to achieve true inner freedom and inner peace… – From: ‘Mastery beyond Death’
God
Forgiveness you cannot make happen: forgiveness occurs when the mind or the ego begins to lose its power over you and your True Nature starts to UNfold itself increasingly. You become what you basically always were: a being of pure light. Light knows no separation. The core of the murderer is the same light as I am.
That does not mean that in this earthly dimension the consequences of our actions can be avoided. Although I find the death penalty inhumane, cruel and barbaric, it is logical that every action has a consequence in this life and that we have to take responsibility for our actions. That applies for me, that applies for everyone. I, myself, no longer feel the need to punish others. I am not God, just ‘I AM’. For God does not punish, the latter is simply what we do ourselves!
Hell
When I forgive the murderer of my daughter I free him and I take the burden on my own shoulders. Moreover this feels like betrayal to my daughter, said Ron Lock, parent of a murdered daughter against Aba Gayle.
Until we can forgive we live in a self-created hell, the hell of separation. We experience ourselves as separate individuals and create a situation in which we feel that we are better than the other by taking an object or a situation that we can hate and fight, to sustain our ego; our idea of separation. – That’s quite a clinical explanation, but in my opinion not far from the truth.
The death of the ego
Aba makes no effort to convince Ron that he should forgive. She knows better than anyone that this will not work. Forgiveness means that we have to release our feeling of being unique. It’s this feeling of uniqueness and superiority that we fight to maintain at all costs, otherwise we feel that we fall apart and there seems nothing left. And that is the Truth: eventually we will be nothing, but our True Selves. In short, forgiveness is the gift we give to ourselves when the apple is ripe to fall off the tree. It’s the end of hell. Fear transforms into unconditional love. It is Heaven on Earth. It is total Liberation …
Kingdom
… We are creating the inner cave, to welcome the birth of the unconditional love within ourselves: the divine child, the son of the Father / Mother. The spark of spirit, we have forgotten such a long time is, awakening. The Kingdom of God, no longer outside us, comes to life. – Out of my book ‘Original’.
Because for them it is of no importance if I wear a headscarf or not, but out of respect for a culture who have devised rules and regulations and has accepted them as truth. After the service an Iraqi literally throws his aggression against the West over me. I am overwhelmed, but do not feel addressed. I’m not a member of a group, but an independent thinking individual. Suddenly I stand hand in hand with a beautiful boy from Somalia. I wonder what he could have done wrong! He is not interesting if I am a Muslim. He does not invent a new framework by calling me an atheist (which his friend immediately did). He is in every respect a true human being.
I join the Imam during his mosque service in prison. He thinks the men will appreciate it if I wear something on my head. It is not an obligation, but still. And so I cover my head – voluntarily – out of respect. Not out of respect for God or Allah…
Coincidence
Call it coincidence: on the way back home I listen in the car to a discussion about a male teacher who refuses to shake hands with his female colleagues. The question is if we should tolerate his behaviour or not.
Religion
For clarity: religion has an inside and an outside. The inside is unity. The majority however associate themselves with the outside, which is created by man. Unfortunately, in our separated state of being we can not see the truth and we create nothing but division. Divide and conquer and keep the mob under control has been the slogan for decades. It is not the inside or the essence of religion we have to concern about, but the outside. Would this man really believe that it is an eyesore for Allah when he should treat his female colleagues as he wishes to be treated himself?
It’s too crazy for words. How would an all reviewing power we call God or Allah being interested in such trivial matters as the difference between men and women? Are we forgotten that God or Allah symbolizes nothing more or less as unity and all of us have emerged from that same unity? In short, any sane person knows that this is a pertinent lie. At this way we degenerate God into a kind of an ego-thing and sorry, that is God unworthy. It is even abnormal, or better said unconscious, as the Christians in the past who were convinced that they had to rescue other cultures they called primitive by saddle them with their self created image of their own deity.
Ego
Kindergarten work! Grown ups cannot longer think like that. It is all ego, nothing more than ego, who always wants to be in the right. And that is exactly that piece of ourselves we should get rid of! Anyway, physical life may at the end an illusion, but it requires a number of clear rules. When I go to India I eat with my right hand and cover my shoulders. Although I do not pretend to be one of them on the outside, at the inside I am one with all and the same. In all respects I voluntarily will follow some of their rules without losing myself.
Rules
Essentially we are a tolerant nation which really likes to embrace and welcome others. It is normally that we will be restricted by our own human limitations. I think it is natural that everyone who wants to live in this country and is using the luxury facilities we all created together, in return has to accept a number of rules. In that respect, life is no different from sport. To play sportive football, we must embrace certain rules. It is a privilege and not a right that everyone in this country may practice his own religion, while Christians in their homelands are threatened and persecuted. That is something to be truly thankful for! Unfortunately, we are caught in webs of fear. And that fear makes that we consider everyone who is different as a potential enemy of our freedom.
Outlawed
Why are we so afraid to name those things? Because they can be only appointed when we have gone through hells of pain and suffering and no longer are trapped in the web of duality and self-created fear. I like to share my wealth and should like to be an open door for anyone who needs an open door. I know a great guy, he is now 25 years. His family has a residence permit. He does not, he was arrested in the past for a few futilities. He behaved himself amazingly well and for many he was an example in the community were he lived in.
But suddenly he started blowing again and lost himself completely. Is it surprising? To be outlawed is inhumanly cruel, especially if you are so young. Undoubtedly, and almost inevitably he ends up in criminal circles. The cause is the same system who tries to be tolerant willy-nilly and performs endless discussions about wearing headscarves or not. The point we miss in this infinite paradise is clarity. Endless debates, each time more and more commands and prohibition. But the essence remains unclear. We miss the power of an adult and enlightened leader!
Prayer House
During a meeting, I have a nice conversation with Achmhet. He is in his mid forties and half of his life he lives in the Netherlands. Do you enjoy yourself, I ask. Yes Yasmin, completely. Do you feel discriminated here? No, absolutely not. Do you agree that whenever we feel discriminated it says also something about ourselves? Absolutely Yasmin. To be frank Achmhet, I’m not really into all those outer churches and mosques. Shall we make a joint house of prayer? Sounds like a good idea Yasmin. In hospitals and airports it is already like that. Wow Achmhet, we have started a first step to brother / sisterhood. Come on, I’ll give you a kiss. Okay, for today we just will shake hands …
Discrimination
I do not assert that discrimination does not exist. People who are stupid and ignorant will discriminate. Fear is the cause. However you can assure that people who feel discriminated also tend to discriminate. When the whites were put out of play in South Africa the different tribes started to fight each other. In short, people who believe in separation like to manifest themselves, to fight and to win. Therefore it is important that we find our way inside, because only at that level – individual – we can connect ourselves with our true nature and with others. Not because God or Allah wants it or culture prescribes it or whatever. Our mission is to be independently minded beings who are no longer wanted to hide ourselves behind the code and the safety of the herd, but mature and independent dare to decide by ourselves what is good for us.
Awakening
The moral of this story: exterior is shape and represents separation. However, it is the same visual world that eventually will teach us to transcend the duality. In essence all religions preach the same, but on the outside they causes divisiveness. As long as we belong to a club, religious, spiritual or New Age (nothing more or less than a new church form) and use this form to raise ourselves above others, we keep separation alive.
The solution is awakening, an inner and individual process. At this time we become spectators. We live in the world without looking down on others. We are no longer of the world and we do not participate in the ego play because we see through it. The ego ultimately only wants one thing: keep the separation alive so we can dominate others. Let us stop making outward wars, but start the inner battle. Let us sacrifice our sacred cows to the foundation. Let’s take our sword in our own hand and free ourselves from all restrictive ideas we have adopted for truth. Chase no longer euphoric feelings and a certain state of enlightened. It is yet another game of illusion to escape of the truth. Instead of all this allow yourself to face yourself HEARTHly and honestly. It is the only way to silence the ego!
